Random Saturday Babble.

So much to talk about. So much to get out of this head of mine.

Jack is growing in leaps and bounds. I love him like i've never loved before.

Don't get me wrong. I love my children more than I could ever begin to explain. But as a mother you put your whole life on hold for these little humans. Willingly! You live and breathe and you stress. Will they make it through infancy?Will they make it to their teens? will they make it? Did I teach them what they need to become productive humans? Did I send them to school with a lunch that won't make the other mothers think i'm a horrible mom? Did I put them in clean clothes this morning? Did they hear dad and I argue about money? Will they run to school and tell everyone we're struggling? Did I get the pork out of the freezer so we don't have to have grilled cheese again for dinner? Have I screwed up so bad that they will grow up and become mass murderers?

You know.. I have fears!

With Jack I still have fears, but I don't stress. His mom does that. I can sit back and I can enjoy this little human. I can hold him and cuddle him and I can just live.

AND

I can take photos! LOL

Thursday marked a BIG day for me. I received confirmation for my student loans.

This means I will be starting school in May! The excitement and terror this has caused make for an amazing stomach! LOL I am so excited yet so nervous! I am lucky to have a friend already going there who will help me along the way but, I'm so nervous I can't even begin to tell you!

It's going to be a long journey for me yet I look forward to the obstacles.

It's hard to not shout it out to the world! I want to tell everyone about this! and yet, I'm trying to keep it from my work manager. The last time i was "potentially" going to be attending school she made my life a living hell. I'm not yet ready to give my notice but I feel it's only a matter of time before she finds out that I'm leaving in 1.5 months. I should probably just put my notice in, but I want to wait until I have the final paperwork for school signed and they payments made.

Once I have all my ducks in a row I will then give notice.

I have to admit, a large portion of me wants to wait until the middle of April and only give her 2 weeks notice.

My issue with this is, I'd be doing it out of spite. She has made my 2 years as an employee there very hard. She is petty and vindictive and annoying. She isn't liked by anyone and she knows this. I'm sure it makes her sad and I hate to add to the sadness but she really just, ugggg!

If I tell her now, that gives her ample time to hire someone new and train them. Or promote a receptionist to the Client Care position and be done with it. (which is what i'll probably do once my paperwork is final and the funds go through)

Or do I be petty and wait until the 2 weeks before I leave, like most people do.

We've just had 2 people leave us, and I know of another full timer that is leaving shortly after me. It's because the place I work for is the WORST place ever!

Don't get me wrong, I love most of my co-workers. But the management is by far the worst I've ever encountered. the moral there is disgustingly low.

*sighs*

I know I'll give my notice as soon as I know my schooling is secure. I know that giving a month and a bit notice is still going to stress my manager out and she's going to make everyones life hell because of it. This is why I've prepared my co-workers. It's the best I can do right now.

and

I hope they all make huge changes in their lives like they want to and get out of there while they can still smile and see the good in life!

Life is too short to sit in a building full of negative managers.

I guess I can thank them! To be honest! If it wasn't for their negativity and bullshit, I'd never had had the push I needed to get my ass in gear and get myself into school!